Yesterday was a fail. It was one of those days where I couldn't parent at all. I started the day out already exhausted (bad sign). It was raining outside so my only option for the boys was indoor play.
morning was fine, we went to an Early Years Learning Center and met two
other twin families and the boys played happily. But once we were home
again they had a shorter than usual nap and woke up miserable. They
clung to my legs, screaming and punching each other while I tried to
make them lunch, which they then refused to eat and told me this by
whipping their bowls across the room (and no i still haven't cleaned the
food off of the walls).
I'm thinking "Ok. The morning was great
because they were out of the house playing with new friends. My only
chance of survival is get them on some kind of adventure." So I hatched a
quick and what I thought brilliant plan:
I took them with me while I
drove our "part time live in nanny" to her other job. So far so good.
Then we drove to another city and took my sister to her work. The
weather was terrible, traffic was horrible and the boys screamed the
whole way. Once my sister got into the car they were little angels for
her (of course...)
My sister works at Petsmart which is great
because while she grooms dogs my boys can watch her, and the other dogs,
and see the kittens, birds, hamsters, and fish. Its usually worth the
long drive. Not today. Its getting close to dinner time and we are far
from home and its rush hour. What to do?? So I called my husband and
asked if I could crash his work dinner meeting. He works in another city
but closer than home. The Plan is to make my life easier:
- restaurant means I don't need to cook
- my husband being there means I'm not the only one parenting
- his work friends means the boys will be cheerful because they are better behaved for other people than me
plus at the end of the meal I can switch cars with my hubby he can
drive the long drive home in horrible weather, in rush hour traffic with
the screaming twins while I drive home ALONE in silence: a much needed
break from my 12 hr day of horrors.
That was the plan but it didn't
go like that. We got lost driving to the restaurant. It took an hour to
find it. The boys are sreaming. We get there and my husband isn't there,
just his new intern. I have toddler twins so as soon as the waiter
appears in spitting distance I ask him to bring my boys food "No not
appetizers, not water, teas, whatevs, food now sir: GO! thank you."
wait, the boys are not cheerful, they don't care that the intern is new
or that other people are watching us. They throw their crayons, they
pull on the blinds, they slam forks against the table, they scream to be
released from their highchair prisons. I'm dying. Usually our twins are
so well behaved in restaurants that I can proudly flaunt them: "Yes,
they are twins. Yes, they are beautiful. Yes, they are so well behaved
thanks to my excellent parenting. Yes, I AM SUPER MOM!" But these kids
were MONSTERS. I could feel people's eyes on us. I could imagine them
thinking, "Look how misbehaved those children are.What was she thinking
bringing them to a nice restaurant? They are so loud. Please leave and take
your terrible spawn with you." But worse than that was I know some
people were pitying me: "That poor woman, she has twins..." I'm
The poor intern is trying to make small talk with
me. I'm trying to entertain my kids. The waiter shows up with their food
"Hallelujah!" but no, the order is wrong. There is cheese on their
food. The boys are allergic to diary. "WHATEVER I'LL PEAL THE CHEESE
OFF" I tell the waiter. He says its OK. it will only take a few minutes
to make another dish. Its clear this guy doesn't have children, or twins
either. LOOK INTO MY PLEADING EYES WAITER, you better not be lying to
me, OK. go make a new dish...
Still no husband. Still no food. Still screaming children.
the food comes back. Its too hot, its burnt, IT DID NOT TAKE A FEW
MINUTES. My boys burn their mouths they are so hungry. They gobble it
all up in a few minutes. The waiter doesn't come back to check on us, to
take our orders. Its been an hour, my hubby is missing, his cellphone
isn't working. I'm hungry, the intern is hungry, and my boys are full
but still screaming. I apologize to the intern saying, "I'm so sorry,
I'm going to have to leave" (He's probably thinking "Thank God"). We
exchanged numbers, I told him to call me and let me know if my hubby
ever arrives. Now I'm waiting on the bill. The intern says he will pay
I pick up my children and wrestle/chase them outside. My
husband just pulls up, he say the traffic is terrible and apologizes.
There are accidents on all the highways and on a lot of the detours. He
helps me put the boys in the car, tells me an alternate route to get
home, and goes to start his meeting.
I drive around for 45 mins
lost, the boys are sobbing they are so tired, and I'm on the verge of
tears: will this day ever end?! I keep calling the intern's cell so I
can get directions but he isn't picking up. I almost get into two car
accidents because I'm such a mess mentally. I shouldn't be driving. I
wish a cop would pull me over so he can take me to a mental hospital
and my children home. Finally I found my way back to the restaurant, my
hubby finally calls me. I say, "I'm back. Come outside." When he comes
out I just burst into tears. I can't even speak. I'm so done. I'm burnt
out, lost, and I feel like a terrible mother. All my efforts to make the
day easier failed miserably. And now I've ruined his work meeting. I
don't have to say anything. He takes one look at me and runs back in to
pay the bill. We switch cars and I follow him home, crying the whole
He gets the kids' teeth brushed, changes their diapers, and
puts them to bed. We pray for them, kiss their foreheads, and I tell
them I love them and that tomorrow will be better.
It turns out that
4 people died yesterday in 3 different accidents. Which is why the
traffic was terrible on all the highways/roads. Their day, their
familes' day was worse than mine, by a long shot. I will forget about my
day in a few weeks. Those family members will always remember Sept.
14th 2012 as when they lost their loved ones. That and a good night's
sleep is the perspective I need.
Parenting is hard, twins,
triplets, or singletons. It can be brutal, it can nearly break you. But
we are blessed when life goes on. When after a long awful day we can
tuck our babies in, kiss their faces, and start again the next day.
That's a blessing and I'm thankful for it.